The Uncomfortable Art of Doing Less

When life finally slows down, why is it so hard to enjoy it?

I've been doing a bit of reflecting lately, and something interesting has been coming up for me. I'm not very good at doing less. There, I've said it!

For those of you who follow numerology, there's a belief that October can give us a glimpse into the themes and energy of the year ahead. And next year, I'll be moving into a Personal Year 7, which is traditionally associated with introspection, reflection, self-discovery and taking a step back from the constant doing.

Now, I actually love the idea of that. A year to go a little deeper, re-evaluate what matters and perhaps approach life at a different pace. But as October unfolds, I'm starting to recognise that this might be a little more challenging for me than I first thought!

You see, I love the idea of having more freedom, more time to myself and fewer responsibilities. In fact, for years I've been wishing for exactly that. But now that life is starting to give me a little more breathing room, I'm discovering that actually allowing myself to enjoy it is a whole different story. And I think it's because somewhere along the way, I've become so accustomed to being busy that when I'm not, I start feeling like I'm failing. Which is ridiculous, really, when I stop and think about it. But it's also very real.

For the past five years, life has been incredibly full. Alongside being a mother and raising a family, I've been building my crystal healing business, helping run a manufacturing business with my husband, managing the administration of an estate, creating meditations, working with clients and juggling all the other responsibilities that come with everyday life. Last year, some weeks were pushing 60 hours of work, and the funny thing is, even though I was absolutely flat tack and probably heading towards burnout, I felt productive. I felt useful. I felt like I was achieving something.

There was always somewhere I needed to be, something that needed doing or someone who needed my attention. And although it was exhausting at times, there was also something strangely reassuring about it. I was busy, therefore I must have been doing well.

But this year has looked quite different. Some of those responsibilities have eased, the pace has shifted, and I've found myself with something I used to desperately wish for. Time. Time to create, time to garden, time to enjoy my home and time to explore ideas that have been quietly sitting in the background waiting for my attention.

And I've actually loved having that freedom. I've published my first journal, started creating another beautiful project, developed new offerings and continued creating meditations. In many ways, I've probably been more creatively inspired than in recent times. But the flow of life is different now, and while part of me is really enjoying it, there's another part that doesn't quite know what to do with it.

Because when I have a quieter day, instead of thinking, "Oh, how lovely, I can just enjoy today," there's this little voice in the back of my head saying, "Right, what should we be doing?" And if I don't find something productive to do, that uncomfortable feeling starts creeping in. Guilt. As though I'm somehow wasting time, as though I should be doing more, and as though having a day where I don't achieve anything particularly significant means I've somehow failed.

Honestly, it's exhausting! And the irony isn't lost on me. I've spent years working incredibly hard to create more freedom in my life, yet now that I have some of it, I struggle to let myself enjoy it.

Why is that? Why can I happily spend hours working on something, but find it so difficult to sit outside with a cup of tea and do absolutely nothing? Why does ticking things off a list give me such a sense of satisfaction, yet spending an afternoon pottering around the garden can leave me wondering whether I've done enough? And who exactly am I trying to prove myself to? Because I don't think anyone is standing there with a clipboard, checking whether I've been productive enough today!

It's me. I'm the one putting that pressure on myself, and that's been quite an interesting thing to recognise.

I think when you've spent years juggling responsibilities, being needed and constantly having something to do, it becomes part of your identity. You become the person who gets things done, the one who manages everything, figures things out and keeps moving forward. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with being capable, motivated and hardworking. But what happens when life no longer requires quite so much of you? Who are you when your days aren't filled with obligations? And perhaps more importantly, can you still feel good about yourself when you haven't achieved anything?

That's the part I'm finding uncomfortable. I know how to work hard, push through and juggle a ridiculous number of responsibilities. But relaxing without feeling guilty? Now that's something I'm still learning! And as I enter this next chapter of my life, perhaps it's time to discover what a different pace might actually look and feel like.

Even within my healing business, I've started questioning what I want my working days to look and feel like. Not because I don't love what I do, because I absolutely do, but because I've realised that just because I've always done something a certain way doesn't mean I need to continue doing it that way forever. Perhaps there's room to simplify things, to work differently, to give myself more flexibility and recognise where my time and energy are best spent. And I think that's a really positive thing.

But then, of course, there's that little voice again. "Oh no, here we go..."

Because change, even when it's something we want, can feel uncomfortable. There's the uncertainty of not knowing exactly what comes next. The practical realities of life, including finances and responsibilities, don't simply disappear because we decide we would like to slow down. And when you've been accustomed to a certain rhythm for years, it can feel strange when that rhythm changes.

Part of me wants to embrace this new freedom, while another part is still searching for that familiar sense of achievement. And I'm beginning to wonder whether that's exactly what I need to question.

Maybe I don't need to fill every gap in my diary. Maybe I don't need to turn every creative idea into something productive or profitable. Maybe I can spend an afternoon gardening simply because I enjoy gardening (well, I'm learning about gardening!). Maybe I can sit outside, enjoy the sunshine, listen to the birds and not feel like I should be somewhere else doing something more important. And maybe I can have a day where I achieve absolutely nothing and still consider it a good day.

Because surely that's part of what life is supposed to be about? Not just working, achieving, creating and constantly moving towards the next thing, but actually enjoying the life we've created along the way.

I've also been missing my beautiful horse, Bentley. It's just passed the four-month mark since I lost him, and he's been coming into my dreams, which is lovely, but then I wake up and realise he's on the other side. And to be perfectly honest, I'd much prefer him to be on this side, if you know what I mean.

He would have been the perfect companion for this quieter chapter. A wonderful reason to get outside, spend time in nature and simply enjoy being together. Animals have such a beautiful way of bringing us into the present moment. They don't care how many things we've crossed off our to-do list, how successful we've been or whether we've made the most of every hour. They're just happy to be with us, and perhaps there's a lesson in that too.

And while no animal could ever replace Bentley, there's something rather exciting that our family has been talking about. Adopting a rescue dog! A small dog who needs a loving home, absolutely adores cats (that's non-negotiable in our household!) and will hopefully become my little adventure companion. We're all quite excited about the thought of welcoming another dog into our lives, and I have this strong feeling that the right one is out there waiting for us.

So, the other day I decided to set the intention and ask my spirit guides, along with Bentley, to help us find the perfect dog for our family. And then, within the space of two days, I had two rather interesting experiences!

The first happened while I was walking in the bush. A lady's beautiful dog came running past me, full of energy, and I laughed and said, "Wow, he's got a lot of energy to burn!" And guess what she replied with? "Where's your dog? Is he looking for your dog?" I told her I didn't have one yet, but I knew one was coming!

Then the very next day, I was at the beach with my family, and as we were walking up the stairs, Simon noticed a dog lead sitting on a rock. He laughed and said, "Look, it's the lead for our dog!"

But here's where it gets interesting. When I looked closer, I noticed the lead had AC/DC written on it! Now, I've never come across an AC/DC dog lead before, and what makes this particularly special is that our previous dog was called Acey, named after AC/DC!

Of course, I immediately took that as another little synchronicity. And Lexijay's response? "Oh Mum, you and your signs!" Haha, she knows me too well!

Whether you believe in signs and synchronicities or simply see them as lovely coincidences, I couldn't help but smile at the timing of it all. And I like to think that perhaps Bentley might have had a little hand in it too.

So, while I'm learning to embrace this quieter chapter and become more comfortable with doing less, perhaps there will also be a new little four-legged companion joining us for the journey. And I have to say, the thought of that makes me rather happy!

The more I reflect on all of this, the more I realise that this could actually be a really powerful time in my life. Perhaps that's where the themes of my approaching Personal Year 7 are starting to resonate with me. Not necessarily as a prediction of what will happen, but as an invitation to look a little deeper at how I've been living, what truly matters and which expectations I've placed on myself that I might finally be ready to let go of.

One of those expectations is that I always need to be achieving something to feel good about myself. Because deep down, I know my worth isn't measured by how busy I am, how much money I earn or how many things I squeeze into a day. But understanding that and actually living it are two very different things! And perhaps learning to rest without feeling like I have to earn it first will be one of my greatest lessons in the coming year.

I don't know exactly what the coming year will bring, and I'm trying not to get too caught up in figuring it all out before it arrives. But I do know that something is shifting, and perhaps instead of resisting it or trying to force life back into its familiar rhythm, I can allow myself to explore what this new one might look like.

Because maybe a quieter life doesn't mean a smaller life. Maybe it means having more room for the things that really matter.

So, join me as I navigate this new terrain. I have a feeling there will be plenty of lessons along the way, a few uncomfortable moments and probably a little resistance from that voice in my head that thinks I should always be doing something!

And who knows, maybe there will even be a little rescue dog joining me for the adventure!

Lorijane 🖤

Intuitive by nature. Rebel at heart.